Patience Makwele
Nearly two years after Namibian author and lecturer Linda Perestrelo published her book ‘Fatherless’, young men across the country say the work continues to spark conversations about identity, healing and the emotional impact of growing up without a father figure.
What began as Perestrelo’s personal story of navigating life with an absent father has evolved into a wider discussion among young readers, many of whom say the book challenged them to confront emotions they had long ignored.
Jason Uises, a 34-year-old Windhoek resident, said reading the book forced him to reflect on how fatherlessness has shaped the lives of many young Namibians.
“I am very fortunate and grateful that I still have my father, but after reading the book, I realised how difficult it must have been for those who grew up without father figures,” he said.
“You do not always realise how much it affects someone until they are older. You think you have moved on, but then you struggle with trust, relationships and confidence without understanding where those challenges come from.”
Uises said many young men are taught to suppress emotions rather than discuss them openly.
“As men, we are often told to be strong and move on because opening up is seen as weakness. In the location where I grew up, a man being vulnerable was not accepted. We rarely get opportunities to talk about the hurt that comes with growing up without a father figure,” he said.
For university student Mervin Shekutamba Shikongo, the book resonated because it reflected experiences shared by many young Namibians.
“I saw parts of myself in the story,” he said.
“Not everyone has the same experience, but many young people are carrying unanswered questions about their fathers and how that absence affected them.”
Shikongo said the book prompted him to reflect on children within his own family.
“The day I finished reading the book, my perspective changed completely. I looked at the children in my family who have been raised by my uncles because they do not know who their fathers are, and it broke my heart,” he said.
“I found myself thinking about the sacrifices my uncle has made for them and for me. It also made me wonder how those children will feel one day when they begin to fully understand that their fathers were never there.”
Mental health practitioner and youth counsellor Selma Kamutjindo said fatherlessness remains one of the recurring themes she encounters when working with young men.
“Many young men struggle with issues of identity, self-worth and emotional expression,” she said.
“While fatherlessness is not the only factor, it can significantly influence how young people view themselves and their relationships.”
The discussion comes at a time when Namibia continues to face growing mental health challenges, particularly among men.
According to figures released during World Mental Health Day commemorations in 2025, Namibia recorded 542 suicide deaths and 2,937 suicide attempts during the 2023/24 reporting period.
Men accounted for 449 of the suicide deaths, representing more than 80% of reported cases.
Kamutjindo said stigma continues to prevent many young men from seeking support.
“We are seeing more young men willing to talk, but there is still a perception that vulnerability is weakness,” she said.
“Healing begins when people feel safe enough to tell their stories.”
She added that fathers play an important role in the emotional development of children.
“A father provides more than financial support. Children need guidance, affirmation, discipline, emotional connection and a consistent presence. When that presence is absent, some young people spend years trying to understand what was missing,” she said.
“It does not mean every child without a father will struggle, but it does mean we need stronger support systems, mentors and family structures. Fathers must understand that showing up for their children can have a lasting impact on their confidence, wellbeing and future.”
Perestrelo said she never anticipated that the majority of readers who connected with Fatherless would be men.
“I thought ‘Fatherless’ would mainly connect with women, but about 70% of my readers turned out to be men,” she said.
“It was both humbling and eye-opening.”
She said many readers reached out to share how the book encouraged them to reflect on their own experiences.
“Many told me the book made them stop and think about their own relationships,” she said.
“Some even said it encouraged them to be more emotionally available to their children.”
The response later inspired Perestrelo to write Silent Struggles, a follow-up book exploring the emotional battles many men face behind closed doors.
“Writing Silent Struggles opened my eyes to how much pain men carry silently,” she said.
“Society teaches men that vulnerability is weakness, so they bottle up their emotions. But behind quiet exteriors are hearts yearning to be understood.”
She believes Namibia is slowly moving toward more open discussions about emotional wellbeing.
“We have not fully opened the space for men to be openly vulnerable yet,” she said.
“But I believe that with time and continuous dialogue, both books can help create that space.”
For many young readers, the lasting message of Fatherless is that healing is possible.
“He is not alone, that his feelings are valid, and that seeking help or expressing emotion is a sign of strength, not weakness,” Perestrelo said of the message she hopes young men take away from the book.
As conversations around mental health continue to gain momentum among Namibia’s youth, many readers say the book has become more than a personal memoir.
For them, it has opened a dialogue about family, identity and the importance of breaking cycles of silence.
“‘Fatherless’ started as my story,” Perestrelo said, “but now it belongs to everyone who has ever felt unseen, unheard or unloved.”
